The Hall of Spam: Weird and Wonderful Comments Left By People You’d Rather Not Hear From

Posted by – April 21, 2011

Hell

A painting by Hieronymus Bosch, illustrating what happens to people who leave spam comments on websites.

For the past couple of months I’ve been working on two blogs in order to build up my understanding of SEO and blogging, as well as just for fun. You’re reading one of them right now. During this time I’ve been received many, many wonderful comments. The only problem is, most of them came from random people who apparently hadn’t even glanced at the article they were commenting on.

(Incidentally, if you left a genuine comment on my blog, thanks!)

Why, you may be wondering, would a person leave comments on a blog page without reading the page? Part of the answer is of course that this blog, like many others, allows you to enter a URL alongside your comment. So the commenter gets a bit of free advertising by leaving his or her URL on a throwaway comment.

How Google Inadvertently Drives Spam

But there’s another answer too, one that I suspect is the real driver behind most of the spam. Google determines a site’s popularity by looking at how many other sites link to it. The more popular a site is, the higher Google places it in relevant search results. Therefore one way of getting more traffic to your site is to get it a higher position in Google’s search results by acquiring lots of links to it. And how can you do that? There are several possibilities:

  1. Write really useful and interesting articles that other people will eventually link to. Be patient.
  2. Submit your site to blog carnivals, thus getting free links that bring you targeted visitors.
  3. While you’re reading other people’s blogs, leave relevant and insightful comments on them, including your URL.
  4. Place random stupid comments on any blog or website you can find.

When I first started creating blogs myself, not so very long ago, I experimented with option (3). However, I quickly tired of it. Now I include my site URLs when I happen to comment on another blog, but since I don’t read many blogs, I don’t leave many comments. In any case, I’ve discovered that SEO is quite effective in itself; I use it all the time on my other blog, which I intend to eventually have a commerical focus. As for this one, I’m content to let it pick up visitors at its own pace, and now I usually see at least 30 visitors a day, which suits me fine for a site full of random stuff.

However, many people apparently feel that option (4) is the way to go, and I’ve collected some of the most annoying/hilarious comments here for your enjoyment.

Oddly enough these commenters seem to be undeterred by the fact that I manually approve comments before they appear on this site and nearly always consign the spam to the trash bin, or the fact that the comments on this blog are “nofollow”, meaning that Google will ignore them in any case. This makes me think that many of these spammers either don’t understand English, or else they are robots.

Spam or Not Spam?

Should you be in any doubt that these comments are indeed spam, feel free to paste them into Google. You can usually find many, many other blogs that the commenter has left the same comment on — either the exact same comment, or very minor elaborations of the exact same comment.

Also notice that none of them refer to anything specifically connected to the article they are commenting on; they are designed to be left on many web pages without alteration, as indeed they are.

Needless to say, all of these comments link to websites that appear to have been put up overnight in an attempt to sell some product or other.

But without further ado, here are just a few of the insightful and thoughtful comments that random spammers have left on my blogs recently.

The Hall of Spam

What a write!! Very informative also easy to understand. Looking for more such posts!! Do you have a myspace? I recommended it on digg. The only thing that it’s missing is a bit of new design. Anyway thank you for this blog.

What a great compliment. I suppose I did ought to redesign the site, especially since I’ve only just designed it.

“Oh my god! an amazing article dude. Thank you. However I am experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

You might as well fuck with people’s heads while you’re spamming them!

Congratulations on possessing actually certainly one of one of the crucial sophisticated blogs Ive arrive throughout in a while! Its simply wonderful how much you’ll be capable of take into account away from a thing mainly merely due to how visually gorgeous it is. Youve place collectively an amazing weblog web site space –great graphics, films, layout. This is actually a should-see web site!

The flattery is laid on with a trowel, but the effect spoiled somewhat by the vast number of other websites that the same comment has been left on.

Now to my question: Does Chronic Diabetic Neuropathy pain qualify for Medicinal Marijuana use under MI rules?

On an article titled “Finally, a Straightforward Way of Making Money at Home?” Answer: I don’t care, I live in the Netherlands and I’m already stoned far too much as it is. OK, if you really have chronic pain of any kind, you damn well ought to be allowed a smoke now and then. But using this question to promote a web hosting advertising site??? Please!

buy wall art

Short and to the point!

My mom is amazingly talented at composing. She has been hearing this her whole life long. She disregards all this. I’ve finally convinced her to start composing on the web-just for self-expression. Any concept of the best forum? She normally writes of her own experiences.How does one create a weblog? What is required to be done?

Did your “mom” really name you “buy spy camera”? An unusual choice of name for a child. I suggest she stays well clear of the web.

Heya, already been reading your blogging site for a long time. I manage a comparable blog page but I keep receiving a pile of spam comments, how can you maintain your blog page so clean?

By trashing comments like this one.

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This comment goes on in the same vein for many more lines. I think you get the idea.

Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!

Amazingly, the author feels the exact same way about hundreds, if not hundreds of thousands of other blogs. Seems a clear-cut case of pre-senile dementia. Or LSD intoxication?

You’ve to be tough as well naive not to get a point of view in this a single, this is truly a leading post from your additional post, thanks for this.

How true my friend, how true.

Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

On an article about food additives. Relevant, or what?

I liked as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The comic strip is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an edginess over that you would like be handing over the following. sick for sure come further formerly again as precisely the same nearly a lot often inside case you protect this increase.

Comic strip? Where? I like how this one degenerates into a series of random words.

Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this website. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a great job with this. In addition, the blog loads extremely quick for me on Chrome. Exceptional Blog!

How kind of you to say so to me and 5000 other people, Mr. Bose Companion 5 Sale.

Your weblog seems astounding – complete with top quality content.. and so on. I believe you are going to get even greater achievement with including some far more video clips and photographs. What do you believe. Even though I’ve bookmarked it. Many thanks.

I believe you’re a spammer! Although of course this is all perfectly true.

Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Opera. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Many thanks

Why not waste lots of people’s time while you’re trying to sell notebook computers? Since I mostly designed the site in Opera and based it on a popular standard template to start with, no surprise that it has terrible issues like these …. oh God ….

I quite enjoy what you submit right here. Particularly insightful and intelligent. One concern though. I’m running Firefox with Debian and parts of your current web design pieces are a little wonky. I realize it’s not a popular set up. But it’s an issue to hold in the mind. I wish that it will probably help and keep the top rated quality writing.

Yeah, I worry a lot about people running Firefox with Debian. Although, judging by the number of identical comments left on other sites with variations of the same name, a lot of sites have this problem. Almost all sites seems to have it to some degree. Wait, unless …. you’re a spammer ….

hi, if you find and need information about penis enlargement or male enhancement products that are guarantee to work you can find here! are product is the best like vimax and vigrx plus is the popular and effective products to enhance your health.

Don’t want to boast, but that is one thing I am not in need of.

Great post. I simply loved this a lot that i posted a link to your web site in my web site: click on on my website to look at the backlink. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful information specially the last half I care for such info a lot. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Wonderfully non-specific in its specificity, and only left on a few hundred other blogs.

t is not simple, but i believe you just have to be objective about your self and recognize that occasionally when somebody is criticizing they’re only giving their opinion and not usually practicing points they preach.

Hard to disagree with that! And I’ve always wanted one of those “Forensic psychology masters degrees” you’re selling ….

Would you be interested in exchanging links?

No, Mr. Acne Remedies, I’m afraid not.

Maybe you will want to add a facebook button to your site. I just marked down the site, but I had to complete it by hand. Simply my 2 cents.

From a man called “Car Hire”. And there’s already a Facebook button on my site.

Hey there, great article. Excellent website. Its invigorating and applicative. The climacteric internal & external transitions are impeccable. I’m very awed with your writing. I would like to invite you to ghostwrite in your spare time.
If you are interested, you have the talent to make $200 – $400 day. We only have a few availabilities. Sign on at the earliest opportunity.

Wow that’s great! And I hear you only charge aspiring authors 45 dollars a month! What a bargain.

My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be what precisely I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write concerning here. Again, awesome weblog!

Funny how many spammers talk about their spouses. And then witter on about guest writers.

Metal frame dispenser for 3? tape.

I’m not even totally sure what this one is advertising. Besides, I haven’t got any tape.

I love this blog. In fact I have been trying to commence one like this too, however I am not savvy enough on how to do it. What is this “WordPress” portal? Is it difficult? Is it required to be knowledgable in computers to create a blog? I am hoping to design a simple blog for my learn english writing related website. Can a blog be placed into a current website?

Why not ask for advice when you’re busy creating a website full of totally random extracts from publications long since out of copyright?

Along with every thing which appears to be building inside this specific area, a significant percentage of perspectives are generally relatively refreshing. Nevertheless, I am sorry, because I can not subscribe to your entire theory, all be it exhilarating none the less. It appears to everyone that your comments are generally not completely rationalized and in actuality you are generally your self not even totally convinced of your assertion. In any case I did appreciate reading through it.

It’s probably best not to leave the identical same comment on multiple completely different pages, especially not while calling yourself “Films Online”. Also you might want to check if the pages in question actually contain a theory or not.

Thanks for making the effort to describe the terminlogy towards the newbies!

This is one of the most common comments on the Internet, and appears on your pages regardless of their content. Hmm, maybe I should buy some of those sneakers he’s selling.

Hello…I really dig what you are covering! %BLOGTITLE% is a awesome blog, so I have linked back from my %NAMES% site at <a href="[CENSORED]" lose 10 pounds in 7 days</a>. You can view the link <a href=”[CENSORED]” rel=”nofollow”>here</a>. Thanks and good luck with the blog Keep up the great job :)

Looks like your spamming software needs a little work! But at least I now have proof that I am being spammed by robots. Damn those robots!

Fantastic posting, I will be viewing back on a regular to hunt for upgrades.

Again, very common. It could be genuine, but since the link sells headphones and since gazillions of similar comments use the same kind of language (awaiting upgrades, improvements, etc) , I don’t think so ….

hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical issues using this site, since I experienced to reload the website many times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your high quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

On an article entitled: Scientists Recreate Hitler’s Head From DNA, Attached to Body of Monkey. No doubt the author picked up a few new things alright. Unfortunately spelling and grammar weren’t among them. Fortunately I don’t give a fig about my Google placement, or I might have been worried — had this article not sprung up like fungus an a zillion other sites, selling the same rubbish.

I do enjoy the manner in which you have presented this particular challenge and it really does give us a lot of fodder for consideration. However, through everything that I have witnessed, I just simply hope as other remarks stack on that people today keep on issue and not start on a soap box regarding the news of the day. All the same, thank you for this outstanding piece and though I do not really go along with it in totality, I respect the standpoint.

On that article again, “Scientists Recreate Hitler’s Head From DNA, Attached to Body of Monkey”. Glad to hear the author respects my standpoint. Who wouldn’t?


Sadly I’ve lost a great comment I got recently, which was downright insulting (in a highly non-specific manner)! Well, you’ve tried flattery, you’ve tried fake insight … why not be obnoxious?

And once again, to anyone who has left a genuine comment on my site, thanks! Hope I didn’t confuse you with a spammer ….

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1 Comment on The Hall of Spam: Weird and Wonderful Comments Left By People You’d Rather Not Hear From

  1. Michael says:

    Just wanted to say I genuinely read this blog because I too am experiencing spam redundancy on my sisters site. It’s bs to say the least. Anyways, I enjoyed your knocking of idiot comments and good luck with the bull shit.

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