Is Hungary About To Start World War III?

Posted by – February 11, 2011

International tensions have risen to an all-time high this week, after the influential right-wing think tank, the Schweisser Institute of International Relations, released an emergency report claiming that the mid-European nation of Hungary may be about to start a nuclear war.


Image: Budapest. Source: Il conte di Luna from Brescia, Flickr. License: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.
Budapest, Hungary


Hungarians, it seems, have good reason to be aggrieved. In 1914, Hungary, a small landlocked island off the coast of Russia, was one of the most powerful nations in Europe and indeed the world. World War I began after Hungary’s invasion of neighboring Serbia went horribly wrong, resulting in millions of lost lives.

Following the disastrous invasion, Hungary was brutally torn apart by the treaty of Trianon, losing 72% of its territory. Almost a century later, Hungarians are still extremely angry about the treaty.

“All lands ceded under the treaty must be returned to Hungary immediately.” says Sarolta Zalatnay, leader of the Magyar Nacionalista Gulyás Institute. “Otherwise, we are prepared to retake the lost territories by force.”

As recently as a month ago, Zalatnay’s right-wing nationalistic rhetoric was widely taken as an empty threat. However, since then the absolute monarch and supreme ruler of Hungary, Csányi Sándor, has lent his support to Zalatnay’s threats.


Image: The gate of Hunyad Castle. Source: Koponya25 (Wikimedia). License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported
Hungarian National Parliament, Budapest


Following Sándor’s surprise change of heart, events have taken a horrifying turn for the worse, with the Schweisser Institute claiming that Hungary could be in possession of a massive stockpile of nuclear weapons, possibly capable of destroying much of Western Europe and even parts of Russia at the touch of a button.

The Institutes’ chief spokesman and author of the controversial report, Paul W. Cheney, claims that certain structures spotted on Google Earth in Eastern Hungary, previously believed to be agricultural grain storage facilities, could in fact be nuclear silos, each of the five structures holding up to fifty lethal nuclear devices.

“We’re not prepared to stand by idly while Hungary re-arms itself.” stated Cheney, speaking at a meeting of the American Conservative Pro-Life Family Association on Monday. “If Russia and Western Europe were to be destroyed, gasoline prices here in America could go through the roof. We must take action now, if necessary by obliterating the entire country.”

Cheney added that while he does not know exactly where Hungary is located, he doesn’t much like goulash and is quite sure that the country is up to no good. “Just look at their moustaches, for God’s sake. That’s not right.”


Friedrich Nietzsche: featured on the cover of
Typical Modern Hungarian Man
“Excuse me sir, but I think you may have a sea creature attached to your face.”


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3 Comments on Is Hungary About To Start World War III?

  1. Zoltan says:

    I am a Hungarian, and this article is an insult to my people and nation. Why don’t you tell the real truth about Trianon instead of saying that we eat goulash all the time. There are many foods here. Goulash is just one of them. Horseface!

  2. Gina says:

    This is not about making fun of Hungarians or the nation. It is to show how easy it is to create “hate mongering” against a nation that might be next on the list of “evil doers” of NATO and/or Americans.

    Anyone who KNOWS real history and/or Hungary, and/or politics knows about the second paragraph that this is not a real story. Zalatnai? Gulyas Party? The photo of the Parliament? The Supreme Ruler and Monarch of Hungary? But of course, if people only know what they read in articles, they CAN believe that Hungary’s Gulyas Party, led by a retired Pop singer is about to become the next evil doer, the next treat and should be “eliminated”, or else, gas prices will go through the roof.

    This is a tongue in cheek satire, Zoltan. Don’t be offended. I am Hungarian too, and I laughed my #*$ off.

  3. Jozsef Toro says:

    Hi everyone,

    Well, for some reason Hungary in the more than 60 years since the end of the second world war, was unable to build up them country. I tall you here one reason why, because the great schizophrenic Hungarian population simply can not decide living civilised life. The great schizophrenic Hungarian population more prefer living schizophrenic life than face with the real world and build real civilisation in the country. It is a fact, under the control of schizophrenic minds, a country can easily become provocateur in a war conflict, as it was proven by Hungary in several times in our global history in the last lat say 1000 years. At the moment Hungary is enjoy the protection of the EU, and the protection of the Nato. But presently Hungary has also a great choice for new opportunity about living the EU, if the country will not change on them strategy following the EU life. Hungary has very bad political way. Hungary doesn’t think together with the EU, even not with the optimal and civilised global life. If the schizophrenic Hungarian population will decide turn against the EU and against the Nato, Hungary will be one of the biggest louser in the 21st Century, or Hungary will simply move away from the world map forever. This is how I see the present reality on the world, and the present situation of Hungary. I am also a Hungarian. For some very interesting reasons, I can not live my life at home almost 40 years ago. So 20 years ago I am away from home, and I watch with different eyes outside from the country, what’s going on in Hungary. Some times I see very interesting news from the Highly schizophrenic Hungarian population. This is the truth, and I hope the Hungarians will change them minds in to the positive ways in the future.

    With kind regards,

    Jozsef

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