Jokes, larks, japes and what-have-you. Plus Squiffy’s “alternative” advice column.
Get Real – Live Counterfactual News
Chamomile tea may be more harmful than crack cocaine under certain circumstances. That’s the conclusion of a report released today by the UK’s prestigious Fichter Intitute.
Scientists at the Gregor University of East London in South Africa have today announced that Hitler’s head has been successfully recreated from DNA fragments. The research has been hailed as a major scientific breakthrough, but animal rights organisations have condemned the work as “barbaric”.
International tensions have risen to an all-time high this week, after the influential right-wing think tank, the Schweisser Institute of International Relations, released an emergency report claiming that the mid-European nation of Hungary may be about to start a nuclear war.
Squiffy’s Advice Column
Do you have terrible, unresolvable problems? Click here to request Squiffy’s acclaimed advice.
People whose lives I’ve completely sorted out so far:
“A number of years ago I was a sergeant in the British Army. However, unfortunately I was wounded while running away from a cat. I’ve always had a phobia of cats, and this one really gave me the creeps; it was white and furry and had weird eyes. While running I tripped and broke my arm in six places. The army discharged me, saying that I was a coward and of little use militarily … ”